Tears of blood
by krish-x
Summary: Hermione is left broken inside after the war,no-one can see except for ginny weasley...HG/GW
1. Chapter 1

Tears of blood

Tears of blood

A soft gasp escaped my mouth as I opened all those old scars up. The razor blade was cold against my skin it almost had a comfortable weight about it now. It was like an old friend always there for me when someone else would hurt me, it would be there always waiting letting me escape the real world. Because when I watch the blood flow from me I can't feel anything else, I can't see anything else and all my troubles flow away as well.

I stopped the blood flow with a quick spell, covered my wounds up with my robes and hurried out of the bathroom. It was getting late and I knew that I should get some sleep, but even as I closed my eyes I knew sleep would evade me another night. I closed my eyes and all I could see were the life less corpses of everyone who died during the war. I open my eyes and the darkness weighs down on me threatening to engulf me, the sad thing is I wish it would.

It's been three months since the war. Three months of nightmares which won't leave me. Three months of fake smiles and fake answers. Three months of wishing I had been one of those corpses.

I felt as though there was only one person who could see through my disguise, one person who I recently couldn't stop staring at, and one person who seemed to genuinely care. Ginny Weasley. She had been one of my best friends since she started Hogwarts and now that I was in my sixth year I couldn't help but hope we could possibly turn into something more. I'm not sure when I really fell for her, I think I had probably always had a thing for her but I'd only realised it now, now that so many people who were so close to taken had been taken away from me, now that I realised how much I really needed her.

The next morning I woke up glad the sun had finally risen, I glanced at my alarm clock and saw that the time was only 5:30 but there was no point of me trying to get back to sleep so I hurried into the showers while they were free. The muscles in my shoulders relaxed under the jet of hot water and I let out a long sigh. This was going to be a very long day, not just because of the fake smiles and fake answers, but because today was my birthday.

15 minutes later and I was on my way to the great hall for a spot of breakfast before I made my way to the charms room, content to wait outside until the lesson began. But as I made my way toward the portrait a soft voice called my name. I turned around startled.

"Happy birthday Mione." ,whispered Ginny Weasley. I looked and her and gasped a ray of light fell across her illuminating her hair making it seem as though it was on fire.


	2. i love her?

**So this is chapter two of "tears of blood" I had um…let's say bitter/sweet feelings to the last chapter, as I saw quite a few of you guys added my story to your alert list which made me really happy because you actually want to continue reading it…but also made me kind of sad coz I got no comments at all so I don't really know what you guys think of it…so please review…other than that enjoy.**

**Oh and by the way I'm not JKR and never will be…unless I change my name or something…which I won't do…so I do not own the HP characters…( : : )**

"Um…th…thanks…Gin," I managed to choke out eventually. I walked closer to her intending to take a seat next to her but was stopped dead in my tracks when I saw her face more clearly. Her eyes were bloodshot and swollen and she had tissues all around her. She had been crying, most probably all night.

"Gin what's wrong? You've been crying…why are you upset?" I asked her frantically. Check whether she was hurt in anyway at the same time.

"I'm upset Hermione because one of my best friends has been hurting herself, one of my best friends has been lying to me, one of my best friends has been hiding herself away for a long time now and I'm worried Hermione, really worried." She said with surprising force in her voice. My breath caught in my throat, she knew, how did she find out?

"Gin…I'm sorry…listen…I can explain-", she cut me off before I could say anything else, not that I really knew what to say anyway.

"Look Mione I'm sorry…there's no reason why you should have to apologise…it's just I wished you would have come to me rather than…rather than…do that to yourself," she said gently, as though she wanted me to see that she really meant what she was saying. And I did, the way she looked at me was as if she could see past everything, all my lies, all my fake smiles, everything. That small smile she gave me melted something inside of me, and it made me feel as though I just wanted to run into her arms and cry my heart out, but I wouldn't, couldn't. I leaned forward and brushed her tear away with my thumb she shudders under my cold touch and I instinctively pulled away.

"I'm sorry Gin it's… it's just I didn't want to see you crying…because of me," I whispered. Her skin was like velvet under my thumb and my hand lingered by a face for a second longer before I pulled it away. She opened her mouth to say something, but I had already turned around and was at the portrait before she could start. For the first time in months I felt alive, and it was because of Ginny Weasley. I needed to clear my head and think. Because when I touched her, my heart started beating faster than usual. And for a moment I imagined her in my arms. And for a moment I thought wow I really love her. But that couldn't be right. Could it?

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**So this is the second chapter, sorry for the shortness and the fact it seems totally pointless but I promise I needed it to carry on the story and start the HG/GW of it all….unfortunately I think it may bit a bit dark for a little while longer but I'm not sure depends what the reviews say…and trust me I wont post the next chappie until I get some reviews :) please review...it would make me happy**


	3. no more secrets

**So this is chapter three of "tears of blood" and I have to tell you guys that I'm a lot happier because I got some reviews at last…not a lot but some reviews and this chapter is officially dedicated to "marbleandtoast" and "Katydid090586" for being my two reviewers I have read both your comments and taken your advice on board I hope you guys, and everyone else reading this story, enjoy the chapter. Thanks :)**

**I'm still not JKR so I still don't own any HP characters. And on with the story…**

I made my way out of the common room unsure of what to do. Confusion clouded my mind, what was going on with me. I couldn't be falling in love, could I? Especially not with her, right? But then what was that…that feeling that coursed through my veins when I touched her. And why do images of me and her keep flashing through my mind…even now as I'm walking away.

I frantically made my way to the charms room…I needed to think…to clear my mind.

I finally arrived at the charms room and sank down by the door massaging my temples trying to think of what to do. Eventually the rhythm of my massaging and the way I rocked backwards and forward had me in a trance where I was able to analyse the situation from every angle…

She was walking towards me her face illuminated by the soft glow of an unidentified light her hair fell around her face in soft silky curls framing her face perfectly. She walked towards me calling out my name as she came…Hermione

"Hermione…Hermione get up!" I was snapped out of my doze by the sharp voice of someone above me. I looked up and there stood Harry and Ron looking at me as though I was mental.

"So…sorry I must have dozed of…" I stuttered out. I then managed to get up and shake my head to clear it.

"We were just saying that we didn't catch you this morning, and we wanted to say happy birthday!...and here is your present from both of us," Harry said. He looked at Ron and Ron took a book shaped package out of his robe and gave it to me. I took the package and smiled at them.

"Thanks guys, you really didn't have to get me anything," I said wishing that they would just forget it was my birthday, the more people who realised that it was my birthday, the more attention I would get. And that is the last thing I need.

Unfortunately Charms is not the best subject to try to keep quite in, as it's normally the subject that us three have the chance to talk to each other in… when Harry and Ron noticed I was being quiet even by my standard the questions started coming my way.

"Mione are you okay? You seem really quiet today…what's wrong?" Harry asked me once Professor Flitwick has assigned us the spelt to practice. He looked at me with worried eyes.

"It's nothing Harry I'm just I bit tired, that's all, didn't get a wink of sleep yesterday," I said truthfully yawning right on time to prove my point.

I tried to focus on perfecting the charm we had been given for the rest of the lesson but my mind kept wondering to other things, to her. The rest of the lesson passed in the same fashion and as the bell rang I packed up my things hurriedly, eager to get out of the classroom as soon as possible. But as I made my way out of the door I felt a hand on my shoulder. Harry was standing there.

"Mione, we just wanted to tell you that we sorted out a little…um…gathering for you later after um the lesson are over," He said, "just a few people mind, we knew you wouldn't want us to make a fuss over you," he added hurriedly when he noticed the worry in my eyes.

"Thanks Harry…you know you really didn't have to do anything for me, it's no big deal or anything." I said then turned around and walked way eager to just be on my own.

The rest of the day pasted uneventfully and I was glad when I could go back to the common room. I ran up the stairs when I thought that everyone had finally gone to dinner and then locked my self in the bathroom. My mind had become so clouded during the day and I just needed to think, to free my mind of everything, to reach my state of ecstasy. I reached into my robes and took out my razor. I pulled my robe sleeve up on my left hand and looked at all the other scars criss-crossing over my wrist. Every one of them having a story behind it, and now I was going to add one more to that list. I took the razor blade and placed it against my skin relishing the feel of its cold blade again my burning skin. I pressed on it until it pierced my skin moaned as I saw the small droplets of blood run down my arm. This was my state of ecstasy.

A sharp knock on the bathroom door brought me back. I stayed quite but was alert; my eyes scanned the floor looking for my wand. Crap. How could I have been so careless as to drop it?

"Mione? Are you in there?" a voice asked. It was Ginny.

"We're all waiting for you downstairs, It's you party remember." How could I have forgotten the party? Stupid stupid stupid.

"Yeah coming Gin…just finishing up in here…I'll be out in a second…you go on downstairs…" I manged to choke out. By now I was on my hands and knees looking for my wand…with out it I wouldn't be able to stop the blood flow.

"Hermione are you okay in there…you sound stressed?" Ginny asked from outside.

"I'm fine honestly you go ahead and go downstairs." Just as I said this my robe caught on the razor blade and dropped to the floor with a loud clatter.

"Look Mione I'm coming in,"

Just as I picked up my wand and stopped the blood flow the door opened. She stopped dead in her track and took in the sight of me standing there with a bloody arm and a wand in my hand the razor on the floor and the blood in the sink. Her eyes started to well up and looked completely distraught.

"Mione…Why do you do this to yourself? Don't you know that we care?" she asked in a small voice. She looked at me with such hurt in her eyes that something inside me just fell apart. I sank to the floor unable to hold anything in anymore and broke down. She came and sat next to me and pulled me into a hug. She held me so tight that it felt like she almost wanted to show me how much she cared, how much she loved me. And I could do nothing but to just hug back, knowing that she cared knowing that she wanted to help.

"No more secrets okay?" she mumbled into my hair, "No more secrets,"

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**And there is chapter three…I hope you guys aren't disappointed…um…I'm kinda recovering from writers block but I wanted to get as many chapters up I could before school starts (which is tomorrow :( ) um…please review I need you ideas and your thoughts to write this story…and well yup.. :)**


	4. she couldn'tcould she?

**Hey well I'm currently at home instead of at school because I am VERY ill but I thought this would be a perfect time to try to write a chapter…so here goes…**

**I'm still not JKR so still do not own any HP characters…just playing about**

It had been three days since Ginny had found me in the bathroom. It was a Saturday and I was sitting in a corner in the library reading a book about the house elf welfare system, when I felt someone looking at me. I looked up and saw Ginny standing there looking at me with a small smile on her face. I put my book down on the table marking the page and then looked at her again.

"And what I you smiling at?" I asked her softly.

"Nothing only the fact that you must be the only person in this whole school who would be inside reading a book, when the exams are over and it's a perfect day outside…that's all," she said with a giggle. I looked at her and smiled.

"Oh really? So what exactly are you doing inside?" I inquired with a smirk. A blush slowly made it's way onto her face as she answered.

"I was looking for you…" she whispered not looking at my face the whole time she said this. I moved along the bench and patted the space next to me signalling that she should sit next to me. She looked perfect.

"And what did you want to see me for?" I asked trying to keep my voice steady.

"Just…nothing…I…was…nothing…" it seemed as though all the blood in her body rushed to her face in them moments and soon she was supporting a blush that was almost as red as her flaming hair. She looked adorable. I decided to put her out of her discomfort and make a joke out of it.

"Well I suppose that's fair enough I mean I AM me who wouldn't want to look for me?" She relaxed once more and let out a shaky laugh and ten turned towards me and flashed me a full on grin. I grinned back and for the rest of the afternoon we sat together in a comfortable silence occasionally talking but really just enjoying each others company. Just as we were about to leave for lunch she motioned for me to sit down again. Then without warning she sprung herself onto me and gave me another hug that was totally filled with emotion as though she was repeatedly trying to tell me how much she really cared for me. When she pulled away from the hug I saw another emotion in her eyes…one that I did not quite recognise…longing? No surely she couldn't feel the same way about me, I must have just been imagining things…right?

**Okay this chapter is beyond short but I just wanted you guys to know that I am still updating so I thought I'd write a little bit while I'm home alone…anyway because school has started and everything is a lot busier I think I will be updating every week from now on…probably every Sunday…I hope you guys are still going to carry on reading this…and please leave your reviews any thoughts on how you would like this story to continue are VERY welcome and I normally only start writing when I have a couple of comments for ideas…so yeah…I think I just made this author note longer than the actually chapter…sorry…anyway I best go take my medicine :) buhbye**


	5. a late birthday present

Hey well it's Sunday today am I'm going to try get another chapter up for you guys today. I'm really sorry if it's not what you guys expected but I have been really ill recently and am supposed to be in bed recovering but that's way to boring. So here is the next chapter guys…hope you enjoy.

I could feel a soft thumping on my shoulder but decided it was way to early to way up so I brushed it away and decided to ignore it. But the tapping became more insistent and a lot quicker, I decided that it would be stupid to ignore it now and I wasn't going to get back to sleep so I might as well get up. I rubbed my eyes and then looked at my alarm clock, it read 7:30am I normally didn't wake up for another hour as lessons didn't start for another two. Then I realised that it was Saturday and I became even more confused. I looked round for the source of the mysterious tapping and found Ginny standing at the foot of my bed with a small smile on her face.

"Hey gin," I said sleepily," any particular reason you decided to wake me up at the crack of dawn on a Saturday?" She looked at my face for a minute with that same expression I saw on her in the library. Then her mouth broke into a grin that lit her whole face up.

"Yup." She answered confidently, "there is a very good reason I woke you up your just not allowed to know it yet, now get ready and I'll go take you to it." She ordered. I opened my mouth to protest, but at the look of pure excitement on her face I decided not to. I grudgingly got up and trundled into the shower. Half an hour later and we were walking across the field Ginny slightly in front of me leading me toward the lake. Once we were closer to the lake she turned a round and stopped.

"Okay so I'm going to have to cover your eyes for a while until we get there…I want it to be a surprise," She motioned that I bend down a little so she could reach my eyes. And in that awkward position we walked the remainder of the way. After about a minute of walking she suddenly stopped then turned me a round.

"Okay so I know it's not much…but I really wanted to do something nice for you…because I didn't really get you a good birthday present…and well I hope you like it…" She said nervously. She then turned me around and said.

"Happy late birthday Mione,"

I looked in the direction of the lake and gasped. Behind a large bolder she had set out a beautiful picnic. There were all sorts all of my favourite foods and a flask of pumpkin juice. And in the middle of the picnic there was a bouquet of sunflowers, my favourite flowers. She remembered. She cared. I suddenly became overwhelmed with the fact that she actually went to all this effort and my eyes started to water. She looked at me with a worried expression on her face.

"Mione, are you okay? I mean if you don't like it we could just leave it…I just though that you would …and I'm sorry I didn't mean to upset you…" She started to say. But before she could continue I ran up to her and threw my self onto her. I tried to tell her what I couldn't say in that hug, tried to show her how much she meant to me, tried to show her how much I loved her.

"It's beautiful Ginny," I whispered into her hair not really knowing whether I was talking about the picnic or just the fact that I was holding her in my arms like this and she didn't mind. She relaxed in my embrace and let out a sigh of relief.

"So are you Mione," She whispered into my hair. She then pulled away from my embrace and before I knew it could feel her soft lips on mine. I let out an involuntary moan against her mouth and I felt her smile against me. Her tongue grazed my bottom lip and I happily granted her entrance. I felt her hungrily searching every crevice of my mouth and I was only too happy to let her. Soon our tongues were engaged in a fight for who could be the dominant kisser which she on. Not that I could really care any less, I was here kissing Ginny one of the hottest girls in school. And she was the one who started it. Half an hour later and we were both sitting on the ground, me with my back against the bolder facing towards the lake, and her lying down with her head in my lap. Sleepily humming while I played with her hair. This was by far one of the best birthday presents I had EVER had.

Okay so that is this weeks chapter…um I hope you guys liked it…tell me if it is going in the wrong direction to what you guys would have hoped…um…please review because I love review they make my day…and plus I'm ill so you must make me feel better…love you guys buhbye :)


	6. my angel

**Hey guys…I'm sorry this chapter is up late but I had this singing concert on Sunday and I had to spend the whole day there because after I had sang I had to stay and watch my friends…anyway on with the story…**

**I do not own HP characters**

It was the morning after the day before and I couldn't stop staring at her, but for once she was staring right back at me. Throughout the whole of breakfast we stole glances at each other blushing as we were caught but not stopping.

"Hermione…Hermione?" I turned around and was faced with a confused Ron looking at me.

"I've been calling you for like the last minute…you alright?" he asked.

"Yeah I'm fine," I replied, "Just a bit tired that's all." He relaxed seeming happy with my explanation.

"Well we have a Hogesmead trip tomorrow and me and Harry were thinking that us three and Ginny could go together? You okay with that?" he asked. I nodded not really paying attention to anything else he was saying. I was going to go Hogsmead with Ginny. Ginny who I had fallen in love with…wait did I just say love? Wow I really do love her. Anyway I was going with Ginny and she liked me back and she had said it and she had told me that she loved me and…wow I'm so glad I have her. I was snapped out of my train of thought by a tap on my shoulder. I turned around to see her standing there. The sun was shining behind her, making her look like an angel. She stood there with a shy smile on her face and I couldn't help but fall in love with her all over again. She motioned that I should follow her. I got up and we made our way to the entrance hall. Once there she stopped and turned around to face me.

"Do you want to go for a walk?" she asked tentatively. I nodded and she smiled relieved. Considering everyone was still having breakfast…or had gone home for the holiday I felt it was safe to take her hand. As I did so she put her head on my shoulder and we continued to walk like this towards the lake. Once by the lake I sat down, my back leaning against a tree she sat by me and leaned her head against my shoulder and I smiled. For a long time we sat there happy to be in each others company. Suddenly I pulled her onto my lap and she let out a small squeak of surprise. I smiled and then pushed my lips roughly against her and smiled as I felt her body arch into mine. After a while we remembered the necessity for oxygen and broke apart breathing heavily.

"What was that for?" she asked putting her arms around my neck. I pretended to think about it for a while before saying…

"Hmmm….because I love you?" She smiled and nestled her head into my neck with a content sigh…we spent the whole day sitting by the lake talking and stealing chaste kisses with each other. Soon the sky had darkened a few tones and we made our way up to the castle. Once in our common room we both decided to sit by the fire for a while before going to bed.

"Mione," she whispered into my hair.

"Mhmmm?" I answered back.

"Never leave me…I love you too much…" she said quietly.

"Gin…you wouldn't be able to get rid of me even if you tried." I said back. She nestled her face deeper into my hair mumbling I love you. Before long she was asleep in my arms.

**Well that is the end of this chapter…was it okay? Did you like? As always I live on reviews…review 10 times on the same chapter and I would be more than happy to reply to everyone of your reviews…seriously I can't tell you guys how much I love them…well sorry this chapter was so late but apart from the singing thing I got my right hand caught in an oven door and could use my right hand for a week…was quite sad. Anyway hope you guys enjoyed :)**


	7. together forever

**So guys this is the last chapter…I hope you enjoy it….**

**I do NOT own the HP chracters**.

Today is the day.

The sun made its way through a crack in my curtains illuminating the dust making it look like gold dust. I rubbed my eyes and got up. It took me a few moments to realise what day it was but when I did my face cracked into a HUGE smile. Today was the day I got to take Ginny to Hogsmeade. I got up and walked to the showers. It was still early so I was really the only person awake meaning that I could take my time. Thirty minutes late I came out of the shower having washed and dried my hair and proceeded to decided what to wear. I walked over to my trunk, picked out a red skirt, black leggings and a black top.

Twenty minutes later and I was still the trying to decide what to wear. Eventually I decided on a pair of blue jeans and a red jumper. It was cold outside so there was no point freezing to death. But the jumper I had chosen wasn't thick or frumpy at all so I didn't look half bad.

I made my way to the entrance hall too excited to stay in the common room, considering it was still early I didn't really feel like any breakfast. So I sat down on the stairs and lost myself in thinking about how great today was going to be.

After a while I was snapped out of my train of thought by someone covering my eyes.

"Guess who?" they whispered into my ears tickling me.

"Hmmmm…I'm not sure," I said. She giggled then sat on my lap taking her hands away from my eyes.

Wow she looked amazing. She had left her hair out and was wearing a pair of dark blue jeans with a white top and she looked stunning. The sun was shining through the window behind her and the effect was a halo of light surrounding her. She looked like an angel. My guardian angel.

Twenty minutes later and us two were walking down the path with Ron and Harry. We chatted with each other about everything that came to our heads but I really just couldn't keep my eyes of her and had to keep sneaking peaks at her. She caught me a couple of time and an irresistible blush crept onto her face which just made her look even more adorable. Soon the village came into our view.

"So where to first?" Harry asked us.

"Well I for one am completely freezing so I was thinking warming up in the Three Broomsticks." Ron suggested. We all agreed and made our way there.

Once we got there we found a booth at the back and we all squeezed into it, me and Ginny sitting on one side and Ron and Harry on the other side.

"So I guess I'll go order us four butterbears then?" Ron asked us. We all nodded in agreement knowing that all he wanted to do was be the object of Madame Rosetta's attention for a few moments.

Once he got back we all sipped our butter bears in silence, just content to allow the sweet liquid filled us with comfortable warmth. Before long Harry and Ron were engage in an animated conversation about Quidditch. I tuned out and found Ginny's hand under the table with our fingers intertwined with sat there watching as much as listening to the boys' conversation. But listening to Quidditch and the correct way to execute the Speilnach manoeuvre is not the most interesting thing in the world. So I decided to have some fun. I slipped my foot out of my boot and moved it over to where I knew Ginny's leg was. I then proceeded to run my foot up and down the back of her leg. When I first touched her she choked on her butterbear and received some odd looks from Ron and Harry in return. But she soon was doing the same to me and while the boys were talking about Qudditch above the table they were unaware of the footsies match going on underneath it.

"Look guys I think that me and Ginny are going to go shopping for some new robes so we'll see you at dinner," as I said this I was waved of by an impatient Ron who seemed totally unaffected by our departure as he was currently describing a move that Viktor Krum did in the last international Quidditch match.

I got out of my chair and pulled Ginny along with me, soon we were outside of the Three Broomsticks.

"So did you want to look for some dress robes or somet-" Ginny started to ask me, but was stopped as I dragged her in to an alley way pushed her against a wall and pressed my lips against hers. She moaned against my touch only making me push against her with a new found urgency.

She responded by turning us around so I was against the wall and she was pushing me. She then grabbed my wrist and pinned them to the wall above me and started to plant butterfly kisses on my neck.

"I love you Gin," I whispered into her ear. This seemed to trigger something inside of her as, as soon as I said this she gave up on my neck and pushed her lips against mine with a force. Her tongue grazed my bottom lip and I happily granted her entrance, soon she was exploring every corner of my mouth almost as if she wanted to memorise it before it disappeared.

After a while the cold started to get to us and we decided to get back into the castle. We made our way through the portrait and it turned out that we were the first ones back from hogsmede. We snuggled up by the fireside and attempted to defrost our feet by the fire. I looked into her eyes and something clicked inside of me and I knew that this was how it was going to be. How it was meant to be. Me and her. Together always. And nothing would be able to change that ever.

**Okay so this is the last chapter of the story tears of blood I hope the ending was okay for you guys I mean I love this couple but I felt that I was dragging this story on way to long and it was just going to get boring after a while so I decided to end it there. But no worries I will be writing a lot more HG/GW stuff in the near future. As usual REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW you know I love them and even it is just one word I want to know how the ending made you feel even a measly " =] " would make me happy. So yeah I guess that's it for just now…but look at my profile thingy because I WILL be writing more stuff VERY soon like within the week soon. But that only if you guys want me too. :)**


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